Imagine a group of insiders’ outside.

I’d say I'm an outsider by choice, but my world looks like a room full of doors too scary to open. In the pandemic, I'm more sure of my viewpoint than ever, but I’m curious to know what others see. Whether you are like me and have a crazy door obsession, sleep under looming skies, and hear ticking time bombs. Ya’ll don’t seem like it. Most don't even seem perplexed, is there anything you're hesitant about?

I have a running theory that if I stay outside long enough I’ll explode. Exploding sounds like a dream. Like a slow-motion movie sequence wherein time speeds up and bangs, and jumps back to pop, over and over again. When my walks end, I find myself transported back inside. Why so consistently unresolved?

I got a degree in art and architecture. Since receiving my key-shaped credentials, I’ve found myself transported to my living room. Doors are more like automatic doors at food shops where they slide open when you trigger the motion sensor.

In two years, my art practice hasn’t changed. It’s been a great companion. It’s far more patient than I am. I've got to admire how it keeps pushing me to get up and work again. 

As an outsider, my way in would be an invite by an insider. Or that's what they say. If I did get the invite, If I learned where the parties were being held, if I found myself instantaneously transported, and welcomed in with open arms, I’d be ok with being inside. Finding out after all this time there was a corner for me to stand would be like the final puzzle peice. For now, my living room seems much larger than any world-sized room.